To Live in a Rainbow

Favorite Books of 2011

2011-12-30T13:40:00.000-08:00

As crazy as it is, the year is practically over! I read quite a bit this year, a bunch of rereads and books for English and then a ton of really great new (to me) books. Just an interesting thing, out of all the new books I read only five of them were completely non-magicky. Also, out of this list of ten, six are part of series'! And they were really all so good, I didn't have much trouble picking my top ten, but I'm not even going to attempt a numbered order. It was all personal preference and what stuck with me the longest, and what characters I loved the most, so I'm just going to list the book and blab about them and tell you to read them all.

Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys

I'm just starting off with the only non fantasy on the list, and one of the ones I read most recently. It's made a pretty big splash in the book world and for good reason, it tells the chilling story of a girl and her family who are forcibly relocated from Lithuania by the Soviets. They have to try to survive in awful conditions in Siberia, while at the same time trying to find their father who was separated from them. The author went to Lithuania to talk to people who had similar experiences, and it's awful to think of how everything in the book could have and probably did happen to someone. But it's not completely depressing, there are little glimpses of love and happiness amidst everything else, and hope for a better future.

Red Glove by Holly Black

This is the middle book in a series about a world very like our own where 'curse workers' (people who can do some kind of magic) are criminals and have to hide their talent, or very often join the mafia. I read the first book last year and was kind of eh about it, but this one I loved. My issue with the first book was that it was all good and fine but I never really connected with Cassel, the main character. I didn't have that issue at all in the second one, I liked him immediately and got swept up in everything right away. I loved the plot, and his friends are awesome, and it left me eagerly waiting the third book.

Divergent by Veronica Roth

This was by far my favorite dystopian of the year. After the world has gone to pieces and wars and craziness happened, a system of five factions (groups to promote different virtues, like honesty, selflessness, peacefulness, bravery, and intelligence) has taken over the society. At sixteen every teen has to choose to be in one, and then undergoes training to see if they're worthy. But the thing that is most valued in that city is control, and the few people called the Divergent (people who could fit into more than one faction) are hard to control, and therefore dangerous. After that awesome set up, there were characters I really liked and an intriguing plot that was always moving, so there weren't really any downsides to this one!

Forever by Maggie Stiefvater

The last in the Shiver series, Forever is told from four points of view which I loved. The writing is gorgeous, I love the characters (Cole especially), and it was a satisfactory ending to the whole story. It was just really good, but I can't say much about it without giving away the other two books! I'm sad the series is done but this book made me really happy.

Pegasus by Robin Mckinley

Oh, how I adore Robin Mickinley's writing. It's just wonderful. Pegasus is about a princess who, when she is bound to her Pegasus, discovers that they can hear each other's thoughts. This forms a strong friendship that the whole book revolves around, her adventures with Ebon, the things they discover, and the changes they inevitably start making in the world because of their bond. I so wish I had a flying horse to ride on. I know I'm going to say this with every single book on this list but it really is one of the most important things for me: I loved the characters. Especially Sylvi and Ebon, but tons of the other small ones too. They were all really good. And then this book completely and totally wins the award for WORST cliffhanger EVER. It made me SO upset (and no, it wasn't anything ridiculous like a main character dying *glares at a different book*) and it was like a kick in the gut, but it had to happen for the story I think. So it wasn't just a trick to get you looking forward to the next. Still, I wish 2014 was tomorrow!

Chime by Franny Billingsley

This book was really interesting, very twisted, had excellent character development and characters in general, and had simply gorgeous writing. It felt like every sentence had been fine tuned and worked on until it was the best it could be, and it captivated me. It's setting is really interesting too, a small town on the edge of a swamp in England somewhere in about the late 1800s I thought, but there are old ones, and witches who are sentenced to death if they're found. Briony is a witch, and is to blame for most everything wrong in her family's lives. But through an unexpected and extraordinary turn of events, she slowly starts to think that maybe that isn't true after all.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

Karou isn't really sure who she is. She lives with Brimstone, in his shop of teeth and wishes, and is an art student in Prague with friends who think that she actually dyes her hair blue. But the discovery of an entirely other world through a shop door and the reappearance of Seraphim in the human world means that she will find out after all. There's been a ton of buzz about this book and I read the author's blog, so I was really looking forward to reading this one. It did not disappoint. The worlds are lush and detailed, from colorful Prague to the city of the Chimaera. I really liked the characters and the writing and the plot, and I love Karou! Can't wait for the next one.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

The Scorpio Races is about two people who live on the little tiny island of Thisby. Thisby is mostly populated by fishermen, and it's economy survives because of the annual Scorpio Races. The waters off of Thisby are full of the capaill uisce, water horses that sometimes come out of the water and eat people. And every November people race on them, for fame and glory and lots of money. Puck is the first girl to enter the races and Sean is a four time winner of them, and alternately they narrate the story of competition and home and family and love. Things I especially loved about this book: the mood, the setting, the characters (George Holly! Finn Connolly! Corr!) the writing, and the ending. You really should just read it.

The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson

Elisa is the chosen one, she is the one person per century who has a Godstone. Everyone who recieves a Godstone is meant for great things-- whether or not they accomplish them is another matter. She is also a princess, which means that she is married off to a neighboring king at sixteen. It is only when she is in his kingdom that she finds out what being a chosen one really means, and that there are people who would go to any lengths to get her power for themselves. This one's really hard to describe without giving away the plot, so I'll just say, there's court intrigue, kidnappings, trekking across deserts, romance, wars, finding power in yourself, sadness, and hope. I loved it. Elisa is smart and strong all the way through and I loved seeing her come to believe that. And it's set in the desert, and the world is SO well built and believable, and all the characters are amazing. Cannot WAIT for the next one!

Plain Kate by Erin Bow

Kate, an exceptional carver and orphan, has to leave her town when too many people start thinking that her talent with wood means she's a witch. She makes a deal with Linay, an actual witch, who helps her leave and makes her cat able to speak-- but the deal has repercussions that Kate never foresaw. It draws her into a tangle of shadows and death that is almost impossible to get out of. I first have to say, Taggle is my FAVORITE talking cat I have EVER read about. I loved him so much, in every way. He never lost his catness even when he could talk. And Kate is such a smart and brave and likeable heroine, and Linay is probably the most complicated and well drawn out bad guy of the year. I'm still not even sure I would call him the bad guy. The writing is gorgeous, simple and poetic. The world is beautiful and scary, and this book made me cry SO hard. I hit the big climax and started crying, and pretty much didn't stop until after it ended. I know it won't affect everyone like that, but everything about it just hit me the exact right way. I get teary even now, ten months after I read it. And if it had just been completely sad, nothing good happened, I would have just disliked it, but it was so full of hope and perseverance in the end. I loved it.

That took me ages! But there it is, my favorite books of the year.

Kelia

October Writing

2011-10-31T17:29:00.001-07:00

So, nano starts tomorrow! Incredibly excited and nervous like always, but at the moment I'm really happy because of all the writing I did in October. I had a goal the whole month to write every day, which I never told anyone about but I succeeded! Still can't really believe it. I wrote very little some days, as little as a 18-word poem, or as much as a 2,140-word short story. Four days of the month didn't produce anything finished but I ended up with 9 short stories and 18 poems. That makes this by far my best writing month since last November. Most of my poems will never be read by anyone else and some of my short stories were more like beginnings, but I am unrealistically fond of most of it. I really hope that continues into next month, and good luck to everyone who's attempting the mad dash!

Kelia

Nothing Post

2011-10-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

This is a nothing post, because everything I've wanted to post about has dried up as soon as I try to write about it. I rediscovered last month how very much I love reading, and how much I hate writing reviews. So you won't be getting any unless I am VERY inspired! But I have been writing down every book I read, because in the spring I started getting worried at how little I was reading and wanted to see how much exactly I had read, and I've kept it up. I have read 37 books so far, 8 for english, 12 rereads (because I only went to the library to get books out for english this spring/summer I reread a lot of books, which was different but really great too), and 17 new books. Up until August I had only read 5 new books, this past month I've been reading constantly. And I've found some amazing books! At the end of the year I'll do a complete list, with my general opinion of the books if not a review. I have at least 5 so far that I've absolutely loved.

And it's started me writing again too! Nano being SO SOON has really, but I'm sure the books have helped. In september/this bit of October I've written 7 poems and 4 short stories. That makes 6 total for this year, which is pretty amazing considering I've written one or two other than that. They're super short, the longest is 1600 words but they're super fun. Just scenes or snippets of a story, some of them work fine by themselves, some could definitely be part of something longer. I love having time to do all this again! This summer was amazing, but definitely did not leave a lot of time for reading and writing. I think I read maybe three books all summer. So I'm making up for it now. And I maybe have a plot. At least some characters who I definitely think I'll use, though the plot's a bit vague right now. But there's a pretty big family in it which should be fun!

Other things about this fall so far: being the only kid still home. WEIRD. It's very quiet. And I feel oddly antisocial, I talk to friends and sisters a lot but I go days and days without seeing any of them. It wasn't so bad when a sister was around half the time, but everyone's Very Busy and I think I have to start making more of an effort to actually see people. And I miss my sister! But in good news, I get to see one of my best friends tomorrow!

Piano is eh today, but I have a lesson tomorrow so hopefully that'll change. It's almost like I'm doing so much that none of it is interesting, which makes absolutely no sense at all. I don't understand how my brain works in regards to piano. But I've decided I really like teaching, it's always changing and frustrating and rewarding. Half the time I have no idea what I'm doing, which is always fun.

And it is FALL! The leaves are yellow and orange and falling fast. It was really windy today and they were gusting off the trees, and there's a definite bite to the air. Fall always seems wistful to me. I guess my October experience is different from most everyone else's, I'm always planning frantically for nano instead of Halloween (though sometimes I do both). But I'm going to soak up the trees and wind and blue skies and chill when I can, as I think my story will be set around this time.

Anyways those are some of my thoughts lately. I've been wanting to blog again for a while and we'll see if I actually do more than this one post. Weirdly enough I plan posts in my head all the time, mostly about books I'm reading, but as soon as I try to write them out they shrivel up and stop working. Partly because I think too much about what other people are going to think, but maybe I can't do such planned out and formal posts. I'll try just doing thought vomits like this and see if it works. This nothing post turned into such a random journal entry! Hopefully I'll post again before six more months go by.

Kelia

Summer

2011-03-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

Today feels like summer. Cloudless blue skies, warm sand beneath my feet, heavenly 64 degrees, and most of all the ocean.

Every spring I realize how much I've missed the ocean. I get used to it in the summer because I'm always there, but the first time I go back (when it actually feels somewhat warm) I just want to stare at it forever. I wish it could be this warm all the way to July. It is really windy, at the beach there was a steady stream of sand blowing knee high and at times it would blow so hard we were forced backwards! But I love the wind too, and it was a warm wind. If it's back to 30 degrees tomorrow I'm going to go into withdrawal, this little taste of summer has been so amazing. Let's just skip April and May, can we?

Sunsurfer

2011-01-19T05:48:00.000-08:00

Through reading another blog I discovered this tumblr, which is now probably going to be my favorite site on earth. It's called Sunsurfer and it's a blog of pictures of beautiful things. Landscapes, houses, odd and fascinating things, each picture is gorgeous and makes you want to be there. The first picture is a foggy day in Budapest, Hungary, the second is a sunset reflected in a soap bubble in Norway, the third is a place in Portugal. *love* The site is http://sunsurfer.tumblr.com/ and you should really check it out.

2011-01-10T11:50:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! It's weird how used to it being 2011 I am already. Probably because I was thinking about it so much in December, that whole month I couldn't stop thinking about it being a new year and what last year was like. So much changes in a year. A year ago I hadn't met some of the loveliest people I know, hadn't even heard of the theatre where I met all of them, didn't have my permit, hadn't won a competition, didn't know what it would be like with only one sister home, hadn't discovered some books and two TV shows that make me ridiculously happy, hadn't written a novel about Iris and Darius, hadn't even started learning the concerto, hadn't gone to see the Trans-siberian Orchestra, was nowhere near as into acting as I am now, and I hadn't had some of the best days of my life with my family and amazing friends.

That's all the good stuff. It was a pretty awesome year, though there was plenty of the icky days and bad things and crying, but there was enough good to balance it out. And this year is going to be just as incredible, and hopefully I'll be able to be more positive and keep it all in perspective and not worry so much, but I know I'll have fun.

As for resolutions I didn't really make them, since I only completed one from last year, but I kind of some vague plans. Like: keep writing poems, at least one a week since I got so off in the summer and only got 80 out of the 100 I wanted. And finish my nano by next year though I don't know how motivated I'll be to do that. And possibly try scriptfrenzy again? We'll see how it goes. Happy new year!

My top 5 books of 2010

2010-12-14T15:08:00.000-08:00

I didn't read a whole lot in 2010, but there were a bunch of books that I fell in love with. I can't narrow it down to 10 but the top five are very clear, I LOVE these books. (These were books I read in 2010, not necessarily published this year but I think most of them were.)

5. Incarceron by Catherine Fisher

Completely fell into this world, it's so complex and dark and the characters are awesome. It was very fast paced and engrossing.

4. How to Say Goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford

This is a hard one to describe, but I think the biggest thing I loved was that it was about a friendship. A complicated and messy and painful and amazing friendship, that was as real as all of mine are. I loved the characters and the writing style and the ending.

3. Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

A very very powerful book, you saw the main character change so much. The way the plot elements wove together from day to day was amazing, the little glimpses of feelings in each character mattered so much. It is one of the only books I've read with completely real and understandable, if not likable, popular mean girls. I felt so hopeful at the end, it left me with such a good feeling.

2. Stolen by Lucy Christopher

I wrote a review for it already on this blog which is here http://toliveinarainbow.blogspot.com/2010/09/stolen-by-lucy-christopher.html and I'm not going to repeat myself, so I'll just say, WOW. What an amazing book.

1. Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta

Stolen fought with this one for number one, but Jellicoe Road eventually won. Not because Stolen is any less good, but this one is a bit less painful and I can remember it without being so sad. Pretty much this is an incredible book. Complicated, emotional, characters and a crazy haphazard plot that weaves together perfectly and just purely beautiful writing. I fell in love with it from the first page (and the characters! All of them! Are amazing!) and it's definitely one I'm going to be rereading lots, I just read through a page of quotes from it to find one to put here and it's just making me want to read it again. And I can't choose one.

So those are my favorite books of 2010, what are yours?

Kelia

Just had to post this...

2010-12-09T05:59:00.000-08:00

Because it is so awesome I couldn't resist. I'm sure there are many quotes that say the same thing, but this is just so simple and true. Pretty much why I love music.

Guess what?

2010-11-30T17:44:00.000-08:00

I FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe Nanowrimo is over. This month has been full of surprises! But I finished at last, my crazy insane plot-stuck-in-on-the-second-to-last-day novel is done. Not really since it ended SUPER abruptly but it's done for now, I'm not looking at it again. I already started a new story. NOT because I don't want to EDIT my novel or anything, it's because I made a goal to keep writing and to write 500 words a day for the foreseeable future so I had to! But I also don't really want to edit it.

Anyways: nano. You know that plot I was so glad I finally figured out one month ago exactly? Yeah. First day of nano I wrote 300 words and decided to switch. I was going to take a risk and face the unknown and all that stuff. I'm actually really glad I did, because while my story is not very good (it's just SO light compared to my past novels and I'm not sure how I feel about that) it was super fun to write, and mostly the funness was how risky and unknown everything was. I've always been a planner and I decided to be a pantser for a month. Partly it was really fun, I had some crazy amazing days where I put off writing all day and then would sit down and BOOM something unexpected and awesome would happen, but I also had days where I just did not. know. what. to. do. The story that I ended up with would never be here if I hadn't done it like that, three quarters would not exist pretty much. A whole character who I LOVE would never have appeared, because he was something random I did for words that turned into the rest of the book pretty much. And that was the best thing, setting out at the beginning of the month with a vague idea of what the book would be and having it be SO different and awful in parts but amazing in other parts.

I will definitely have to see how I feel about it in another month, because while I like it I don't have this love for it like I do the last book I wrote. And most of the time it felt like I was writing a practice novel so I'll have to see if in a while I think there's things I can salvage or not. But either way I'm going to keep writing, and also, I wrote 9 poems in November! Compared to 1 in October, so that makes me happy.

First sentence of nano 2010: The sea was green that day, on top of everything else.

And I just want to say, congratulations to everyone else who did nanowrimo! It's a crazy thing to attempt and like they say, no matter how many words you wrote that's that many more words than you'd have if you hadn't tried. And this video is awesome, it pretty much sums it up. http://blog.lettersandlight.org/post/2053755708/nanotoons-a-farewell

Goodbye nanowrimo, till next year!

This month has been insane

2010-10-31T13:52:00.001-07:00

Things I Have Now that I Didn't Have A Month Ago:

My permit (I can drive! It's kind of scary but pretty great, and I needed to get it.)

A plot (Finally. I really like my plot, but I also have a sinking feeling that I'm going to fail nanowrimo this year. We'll see...)

A good stash of candy for nano (I have to have candy, if I get my quota every day I get a piece!)

No time (Driver's ed took up most of it, plus I had to do so much piano because of this sonata festival I was in. This week has been the only semi-non-busy week of the month, and then tomorrow Nano starts.)

The ability to cry onstage (I love acting class, it's amazing.)

The LAST performance of Thumbelina coming up (It's going to be so sad... In a way it really needs to be over since we've been doing spaced apart performances since June, but I love this cast to death and I'm going to miss them so much!)

An obsession with the PBS miniseries of Sherlock Holmes (I'm in love with it *grin* It's so fantastic. They only have the first episode so far on the website but I'll get to see the second tomorrow! That'll be my reward if I write 1,667 words and don't immediately rewrite them.)

And that's all for now. I can't believe Nanowrimo starts tomorrow.

Kelia

Randomness

2010-09-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have the right kind of brain for keeping a blog, every time I try to write a post it ends up either boring me, or I have no idea what I'm trying to say. So whatever! This'll be short and choppy.

It's fall! I love trees in the fall, but when they lose all their leaves it makes me sad. Right now I'm just trying to enjoy the red and yellow and orange and not think about snow.

It's the last day of September, which means that Nanowrimo is one day and one month away. I am not much farther in having a plot, though I think I've given up on the idea of writing a non-fantasy. The ones I have come up with are definitely fantasy, and I have to decide on one soon and start fleshing out the characters. But I actually finished my first story since last nano! It's very short, about a page, and very dark and sad but I love it.

I've read three books since Stolen. I reread The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley (third time if I count it being read aloud to me) which I adore, and I read The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff which was awesome, and How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff which was so good! How I Live Now had a fantastic character voice, it felt like the character was talking to me the whole time. It was the first book where sentences a paragraph long didn't annoy me, they were just like run-on sentences people use all the time while talking.

Tomorrow is Friday which I'm very excited about, almost all of my favorite shows air Thursday night so I watch them tomorrow on Hulu. A good thing about September is all the shows start again!

I haven't written as many poems as I should have this month but here is the latest, the 5th.

A sound is whooshing overhead

the dark is seeping through the walls

and rain surrounds this house

this lonely house amidst the storm.

It's really random, it isn't even raining. Oh well! Tomorrow is October...

Stolen by Lucy Christopher

2010-09-10T17:05:00.000-07:00

So. Stolen. I think this is the first book that's made me cry (really sob, not just eyes watering) since I read Each Little Bird That Sings by Deborah Wiles, which I read 3 or 4 or 5 years ago. This book really got to me. It was such an emotional book, everything that Gemma felt was portrayed so well and so truly.

Stolen is a letter written by Gemma to the man who kidnaps her out of an airport and takes her to The Middle of Nowhere, Australia. Her time there is terrifying and awful, and yet the more she delves into the mind of her captor the more she realizes that nothing is simple, not even hate.

I loved the writing in this book, it was so fluid and natural, told from after but never giving away what happens next. And I loved Gemma, she was so relateable and she never gave up. Everything she was thinking and feeling made sense, which was good because it would have ruined the book if the narrator was annoying. And Ty-- Ty was a real person, not just some evil kidnapper. At the end of the book my thoughts about him were almost as complicated as Gemma's. This is definitely a book that will stay with me for a while--more than anything I know I'll remember the beautiful description of the Australian desert (and the heat) and how frightening, and sad and overwhelmingly real it was.

NaNoWriMo ramblings and books

2010-09-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

I finished Mockingjay a few days ago, which I'm not going to say anything about other than everyone is going to have their own opinion of it and no one is going to read it the same way. But a really good review of it is here which I agree with, but warning: VERY spoilery.

I also read Incarceron, which was awesome!! The world felt real and I loved the characters, and the plot was really complex and it had me skimming to see what happened next. I was completely engaged from the beginning, and even though the world and their situation was dark it never felt like a very dark book (though that might have been because I had just read Mockingjay). I canNOT wait for the second, which comes out in the U.S. in December but came out in Great Britian in 2008.

Incarceron is about a boy named Finn, who lives inside the vast metal prison Incarceron. But Finn is different than the other prisoners there; he believes he came from Outside, and he wants to escape. Claudia lives Outside and is the daughter of the Warden of Incarceron, as

she tries to untangle the web of mysteries that surround her she helps Finn because she knows he can help her too...

In other news, it's the beginning of September (strange) so that means NaNoWriMo is less than two months away! I have no idea what I'm going to do for a story. I have one plot I could do, but it really doesn't excite me. I think I might actually not do straight-up fantasy, which would be interesting! The only non-fantasy stories I've written have been short. But I think that two things I definitely want to do this year is have it be more of a character driven story, since the last two nano's were lacking in that, and have the season and place be a part of the story. Like summer by the sea, or autumn in an old house in the woods, or winter in a city. I probably won't be able to resist having some kind of supernatural twist to the story but I do want it to be modern I think.

One of the things I hate the most about nano is the first sentence. I want to get it perfect, but I will sit there forever staring at the page and deleting attempts if I let myself, so I have to just pick a sentence and go with it.

Nanowrimo 05's first sentence was spectacularly bad: After my parents died, my whole world started coming apart. *shudder*

And Nano 06's was just plain blocky: Epsilon looked down at the earth.

Nano 07's was alright: The school bus dropped me off in front of the library, and I hurried inside.

Nano 08's was in a dream but that doesn't quite excuse it: I gazed up at the sky, my smile growing till I felt like it would tip me over.

And Nano 09's (which was a rewrite of my 08 novel) was very short: She was running.

Oy. Hopefully this year's will turn out decent. Also I've been really bad this year about writing in general, since last year's nano (other than poems) I've probably only written about 10,000 words. And it's all snippets of stuff, random scenes and starts of stories that never got more than a few hundreds words on them. I think I'll have to try and write a short story between now and nano to get my gears running, I know how awful it is to jump into nano and not even be used to writing 500 words a day.

Now I have to go think of a plot!

kelia

Actually reading actual books

2010-08-27T18:14:00.000-07:00

A few minutes ago I finished a book... and it so happens to be the FIRST book I've finished since the beginning of July. This is crazy!! So not acceptable, but my insane busy summer left me practically no time to read. And TV shows take up so much less brain space than books, and I need brain space for other things. So in the last week of summer Mom suggested "Why don't you get a book out?" and since I was kind of sick I thought it would be relaxing. I missed it so much!! All the other books I had tried to pick up didn't keep my attention but I loved the feel of 13 Treasures and it was just the right thing to read.

13 Treasures is about a girl who is sent to her Grandmother's house for the summer when her mother becomes fed up with her 'trouble making'-- a result of the fact that Tanya can see fairies and no one else can. At her Grandmother's she finds mysteries at every turn, and her attempts to solve them only lead her closer to the danger hiding at every turn.

Evil fairies, old mysteries, frightening woods... I knew I was going to like this book as soon as I read the flap. I do love my evil fairies. Though there was actually not very many fairies in it other things made up for it, the detailed look into the world of people who can see them was done very well and you really felt for the characters. Something was always happening with the plot and the different threads wove together perfectly. Tanya was 13 and the book had a little bit of a younger feel, but it didn't really bother me. It was Michelle Harrison's first novel and I'll definitely be looking forward to her next-- and I really hope I continue to read more.

One thing that might help is that Mockingjay is in at me for the library! I am SO excited to read it, I'm just scared at what a roller coaster it's going to be. Fingers crossed that no one I love dies!

(Also I have to say, that I love the cover of 13 Treasures. It's so perfect, with those gorgeous gates and the raven, and it's glittery!)

Kelia

This is where I fail at blogging

2010-07-26T05:02:00.000-07:00

So yes, I fail. It's now been more than a month (!!!) since I've posted on my blog. This summer has turned out to be a lot busier than I thought... and I'm a little bit lazy too.

Right after my last blog post I went off to piano camp, which was completely amazing, though different than last year. Last year I kind of assumed that all the same people would come again, but only about half did and half were new people. I really missed some of my friends from last year but it was awesome meeting the new people, even though we all only really started talking the last 3 days. We all decided it needs to be 2 weeks long! That would make it perfect. What with the whirlwind of master classes, trying to snag a room to practice in (and ending up sharing rooms a lot) concerts, and lessons, it feels like it passes in the blink of an eye. It was amazing seeing my friends from last year who did come, and all the teachers, and being surrounded by music every day. The thing I love most about the camp is the atmosphere of living and breathing music and pushing yourself to do the best you can. My new favorite song is Chasse-neige by Liszt, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lZ_52DOXis which you have to go listen to, it's incredible. My teacher said I couldn't learn it though (and maybe not ever) because my hands are waaay too tiny to do the jumps. :( But she said I could start learning the Chopin etudes!! I'm so excited for that, I'm getting the music on Wednesday.

I have to go but I'll leave you with another song that I absolutely love but cannot find the music for, I think I'd have to go to Bulgaria to get it. It's Nocturne by Vladigerov, and I don't think this video quite does it justice but it's the best I can find on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RszzQgTWmPs

Next time I post it's going to be all about theatre again!

Kelia

Theatre

2010-06-23T10:02:00.000-07:00

"You know that feeling you get, when you see lovely folks that you used to work with (that you liked), or old friends that you have lost touch with (whom you enjoyed), and you get this deliriously giddy feeling in your soul?

And, just like that, you realize that you missed them, and you didn't even know it?"

(A quote from the lovely blog A Fanciful Twist.)

This is exactly how I felt when I started doing theatre again last month. I hadn't done any since Emma in 2008 (which seems like such a long time ago now) and only got vague wishings to do it again sometime... and then when I started doing it it was like oh my goodness I LOVE this I've missed it so much!!!

This month has been a whirlwind of theatre, and it just keeps getting more crazy and fun. We did two shows in a school, I spent 9 hours at the theatre one day, one week I was there 4 days out of 7 and the next week when I had three days in a row off I didn't know what to do with myself. I was playing piano for a musical for the first time, that was really fun (when people had nothing to do they would come over to the piano and ask to run songs, usually going really fast for fun :D ) and interesting because I was the musical director and had to direct the songs. It was fun but I really missed being backstage, and seeing them rehearse made me want to be acting more than playing the piano. On the last night I actually was in it, they needed someone for the Tinker who was just in the first scene and had no songs, so that was great. I did my last show on Monday night which I'm really really sad about :( but I'm going to be doing more stuff with the theatre in July and August so I'll see most of the cast again this summer. The cast for Thumbelina was awesome, they were all good actors and singers and there were a lot of super nice people. I hope I'll be able to act in a show this fall, and I have a feeling I'll be doing stuff with this theatre for years.

I've been too busy to write many poems though, sadly. It's the first month since 2007 when I haven't written at least 4... maybe I'll get a burst of inspiration this week and write a bunch :D This is the only real one I've written, which I just wrote this moment!

When I go to bed lately

I listen to music

till it calms my mind and my limbs are immobile

soothed into a coma-state

my thoughts drop away

Until this month I'd forgotten what

it feels like to lay awake

busily thinking

for hours and hours and maybe

then sleeping

The ipod trick works

but I'd forgotten, too

how it feels to be so filled

with music and sounds and people and voices

that you never want to fall asleep

you just want to keep

reliving the day

Thoughts

2010-06-05T17:27:00.001-07:00

Something I've always wondered: would I like myself if I met myself? It could go two ways I think, either everything I did would make sense and I'd be able to understand it all and we'd (the two me's) get along perfectly, or I'd annoy myself terribly because I'd be able to pick out all my faults from the outside, for once. I kind of think it would be a mix of the two. I'd find myself frustrating and I'd probably criticize myself a lot because we'd have the same faults, but at the same time I could be entirely myself around myself, more so than with anyone else.

So yes, just rambles :) What do you think?

Wordle Awesomeness

2010-05-31T13:20:00.000-07:00

I just discovered this site, www.wordle.net that will show you your most used words in any piece of writing. It's so awesome! These are my most used words for nano 09. (I don't know how to make it bigger, but you can click on it to see it full size.) I figured those three names would be the most often used, but apparently I used Went, Looked, Think, Asked, Going, Like, Eyes, Just, Demon (of course) Around, Get, One, Face, Go, See, Back, Vera, and Still the most too. Probably the longest word in there is Enchantment.

I made one for my nano 06 too, and a lot of the words were the same :P Oh well. Also, I LOVE their fonts.

Changes

2010-05-27T06:53:00.001-07:00

I've decided after almost a year of not posting that I want to get this blog started again. But it will be different, instead of posting just poems I'm going to be posting about books, music, and whatever I feel like pretty much :D I had gotten bored with posting poems (and I'm not as into writing them anymore, though hopefully that's just a stage and I am still writing them sporadically) so I want a broader range of things to talk about. It'll probably mostly be me exclaiming about things I love :D

Right now I love TV shows. I've started watching a lot more than usual this spring, just in time to get really attached to them before their season ends for the summer. Why do they all have to end at once?? The good thing about summer coming though is that Lie To Me comes back in June! And White Collar will start again in July, so those are two very good things to look forward to. And besides all the shows I watch coming back in September there are going to be a ton starting too, this link has their previews. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-05-13/bring-on-the-new-tv-shows I think Undercovers, Hawaii Five-O, and The Event look really good along with a bunch more.

Another thing I love: the picture at the top of the post. So many colors!

Kelia

Poem

2009-07-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't written any very good poems lately, though I have still been writing them. But here's one I like, any advice?

We sit
in the tree,
on the sand,
on the bed in the room.
The wind is shushing
all worries away
the waves are pounding,
pulling back,
pounding, pulling back
emotions spill over
and we pull them quickly back
nothing can disturb
the hot sun
and bright sky.
The wind is shushing away
all worries
and all worries quickly fade
the rustling leaves
and yellow-green sunlight
casts a warm veil over
the tree, our tree
our tree where we are queens.
Darkness flows in
through the window
tickles our feet
the room slowly enlarges until
we see the whole world
in it's ceiling.

Also, I filled up my whole poem journal! I got it for my 9th birthday, so it's lasted me five years. It has (I think) 167 poems in it. Thank you Sarah, for giving me my first!
Kelia

Poem

2009-06-28T17:48:00.001-07:00

I just spent a week at a piano festival, so naturally the first poem I write after it is about music. Does it flow alright? It took me a while to write, so I don't know for sure if it does.

Music pulses through my brain
it trickles - downpours -
like the rain
it twists and merges,
jumbles, booms,
it will not stop
I banish thoughts
but still a song
plays faintly still
it twinkles, soars,
and never ends.

Music pulses through my brain
it trickles - downpours -
like the rain
the rain that flashes in the sun
and glitters on the grass and trees
and pools in leaves like tiny gems
that ripple and reflect the green.

The soaring notes
are softer now
my tired brain
is winding down
the music that was pouring down
is turning into mist

the clear, sharp notes
all drift away
what's left is music's spirit and
it looks like light to me.

Kelia

Poems

2009-06-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

Here are three poems I wrote, the middle one I wrote on the way to Acadia. (The first one is the one I wanted you to read, Dad.)

Night fills my eyelids
the clock emits a steady drumbeat
my thoughts march in circles
they shimmer in rainbow colors
brilliant in their fragility
little worlds; so safe
for the moment
little ideas shimmer
blindingly
a breath of wind
send them sailing, soaring
a well placed breath
and they're gone,
never-been.

The clouds today
are lumpy and gray
some look like they're held
by the tips of the trees
some are parted
midsection
and brightness spills through-
not light,
but the absence of gloom.

The sun is dreaming of sleep.
It's always shining
always moving
Round and round,
around it goes
a world that never sleeps.

For this last one, do you like 'It's always shining' or 'It's always beaming' better? Also I could have the end
Round and round,
it goes around
a world that never sleeps.
It makes more sense that way, but I like how it sounds the other way better.

Kelia

2009-05-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Here's two poems I wrote a while ago. I love the first one :D

Sometimes it seems
like I only have words
for the huge thoughts
that overflow my brain--
but what about that thought
that flew past my
mind a minute
ago?
It said that
the giant white starfish
on the magazine cover
looks like an alien
upside down.
It doesn't.
So why do
the three bottles of glue
line up on the divider
remind me of elves
with their red,
red caps?

There's a candle
on the table next to me
with a lampshade
of different colored glass
blue and pink and yellow
glinting in the sun
I can imagine how
the colors would glow and shimmer
with a sun lit up inside.
We never light it.

Kelia

Poem

2009-05-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

Here's a poem I just wrote.

I wish I could find a way to say
how confused this all makes me.
I wish confusion would
float away in the wind
like a kite
glinting in the sun
as it flies over ocean waves
as it's string is severed
by an invisible force
as it dips and soars
getting smaller as it goes
I turn away
the world's gone too
all is peaceful and white.

Originally I had the end

I turn away
before it disappears
the world's gone too
all is peaceful and white.

Which do you like better?
Kelia

Three poems

2009-04-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

I can't decide whether I like this one very much.

Imagine
being afloat
in the universe
there's thick,
velvety darkness
pressing in on all sides
pinpricked occasionally
by stars
throbbing, tiny
points of fire
the heat bathes your face
in light
and gravity traps you
pulls you in
tendrals of warmth
reach up and
sear your eyeballs
you turn away and
round splashes of white
fill the darkness
it's all you can see.

And written directly after that:

Sometimes I want to laugh
at how profound
it all must sound
when really,
all that caused it was
some angst and boredom.
What a pair.

Written last night:

Nervousness
That feeling when
your throat closes up
and you can't breathe
not from tears
from your lungs
actually not moving
because your heart's
frozen one second,
beating frantically
the next
like hummingbird wings
whirring away
in your chest.

Kelia

Two poems one song

2009-04-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

So many

changing things

Each day I am

a new person

No one knows

who I am

I only know

I'm changing

Today I'm thoughtful

yesterday decisive

Today I'm still

as the world rushes

around me

swirls of color-

random noises-

patches of anger, tears,

ebb and flow over me

through me

Today I'm aloof

Tomorrow I'll feel

the pain

of a world constantly

leaving me behind

The next day I'll laugh

and forget it all

Each day I am

a new person

I can't decide if I like this next one very much... is it too short?

Friends-- what good are they?

To talk to, cry with, laugh with

to sprint through life with

A momentary understanding

between two beings

afloat in the universe

seeking somewhere to rest.

I have to write a tune for this one, it feels like a song to me.

How do you know

what your life will

bring about--

will you cause joy

or pain

in your life?

Will you be neutral

standing frozen

as the world rushes by

afraid to cause pain

so ignoring the need?

How do you know

what kind of person

you'll be--

will you cause joy

or pain

each day?

Will those around you

want to hold you

will you love them

with all you have--

will you search for friendship

in vain?

It eludes you

the world's spinning

you stop fighting

for a moment

there's a fragment

of peace in

the world.

How do you know

if you'll ever find answers

to these questions

that fill your brain?

Will they haunt you

till you forget them

and the reason you cared--

will you learn to let go

and just live?

Kelia

2009-04-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

Trying to Get to Sleep

There's a weight on my chest
and my brain feels like mush
mush that's gray - and the weight
is like bricks
falling
onto dirt-
little clouds mushroom up
that's my thoughts dying down
as my brain takes a break,
hibernates.

Kelia

2009-03-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

I just wrote this poem. It's about yesterday, today it's lovely out :)

There once was a day
when the sky was dark
and it felt like ghosts
were moaning
calling
the gloom of the night
stayed to haunt the day
and no one
could escape it's grasp.

The ghosts and the gloom
and the gray of the sky
cast a spell over all within--
they fancied themselves
in a castle somewhere
waiting for a prince
to arrive.

Kelia

Poem

2009-03-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

A few minutes ago I wrote a poem. It's the first in a while, I've mostly been writing songs lately. I can tell I haven't been writing them, also I think my writing style is being influenced a little bit by Les Miserables which I'm reading right now, but I don't know if anyone else will notice.

The sun slips away
and shadows fill the room
the doll on the windowsill
is frozen in perpetual song.

A silence steals in
so deep that thoughts are sluggish
in it's presence.

It is an absence of light
of noise-- of movement--
my thoughts are suspended in place.
Everything seems frozen.

Kelia

New Poem

2009-03-02T15:58:00.001-08:00

Here is a poem I wrote two minutes ago. I put spaces where it felt natural to me, but does that make it look too much like there's verses?

You read things
hear things
see things
and your heart is touched.

Filled to bursting
overflowing
with bittersweet joy
and pain that turns to hope

lifting through the sorrows
of other people's lives
you see yours
for the first time

your heart must
be touched
and you soar
through the drizzle
and the blizzard
and the overflowing rain

look back; life glimmers
with these moments
when you sense the change
of pain turning to hope
within you.

Kelia

Many Poems

2009-02-28T05:57:00.000-08:00

Here's a bunch of poems I wrote in February.

Words shimmer as
they dance
by the fire on a cold,
cold night
Darkness creeps in
turns the air
to ice
Come closer
to the leaping flames
crackling red and
glowing gold
watch them
twist and turn
they thaw your hands
that pour out words
glimmering
like frosty stars
just within
your reach.

I'm not sure about this next one...

There's a story to be told
in each moment
of our lives
right now the sun's
reflecting off
the windowpane--
a flash of white
that slowly lessens.
The sun us sinking
it still warms my face
and I close my eyes
in it's brilliance.

Then these next two I wrote while on walks.

Stop a moment--
listen.
Wind rustles,
blows, and breezes
through the trees
all around
A hurried drip
drops softly to the right
A windchime tinkles
glittering
the sound dies away
A bird caws sharply
bursting into flight.
Your mind spills out words
that float away
on biting air
Glad to be free
they sing with the wind
that sweeps all around
Free from your heart
a dark, cramped place,
that only opens up
when you listen to the wind
and drips
and birds
and windchimes,
too.

Sometimes I feel like I live
in a painting.
There's bits of blue
peeking out between clouds,
and dreary leafless trees
motionless in the frigid air
and, of course, the snow
piled everywhere
a nuisance to all
drive five minutes from town
and it shines in the sun
rolled out on the hills
like icecream.

Kelia

Poem

2009-02-20T16:48:00.000-08:00

Torn in three
I don't know what
to think or feel
Indecision
rules my world
The only constant:
none.
Not true.
Seas may rage
but a floor is always there
hold on to it
and try to breathe in
water.

Written last thursday (not yesterday) but wow it applies to today.
Kelia

Last poem written while 13

2009-02-05T16:29:00.001-08:00

I just wrote this two minutes ago, it's the last poem I'll write while 13 (unless I write another tonight).

So strange to think,
tomorrow
I've aged another year
I'll never be this age again
I'll never play piano again
or write another poem
at thirteen,
a year of black moods
sad moods
harsh words
laughter
roaring laughter
tears,
a roller coaster year it was
of singing
theatre
poems
novels
friendships
broken
mended,
and music
always
music dear
more constant than the
sunlight.
And how I've changed--
no one knows
just how I've changed
inside.
So strange to think
of me at twelve
how different was I really?
How different will I be
in one year's time
writing my farewell poem?
Goodbye thirteen,
you've been a friend.
Fourteen's drawing close.
It looms and glitters
both at once
it holds surprises,
heart ache,
smiles,
beauty.
Sounds like thirteen,
I'd say.

Kelia

Poem!

2009-01-28T12:46:00.000-08:00

I wrote this poem last night and finished it this morning. Does it flow alright? I feel like the end and the beginning don't match.

What is inside of me?
I couldn't say.
There are dark corners
and things that skulk
and things I push away.
Every day I try to hide
things I cannot see--
and fear.
Sometimes at night
when silence is loud
I think I'm a chasm--
A hole- a void-
I peer in and see
nothing.
Sometimes when my mind
has drifted away on music
I imagine I'm all
gold and silvers inside,
like sunlight.
And my fingers make music,
and words, and worlds,
it must come from inside,
it must come from my heart.
Right now I am twilight inside
surrounded by sky,
I fear the darkness approaching
Blue-black velvet rolls in slowly
and bleeds into pink and purple
swirls still afloat in the sky--
the last artwork of the sun
which has already sunk out of sight
trailing golden-blue rays
of hope behind it.

Kelia

First (real) poem of the new year

2009-01-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

Here is my first (real) poem of the new year. I wrote one song, and though I'll count that for my poem count, it isn't really a poem. I really like this one :D

Silence sits
high on the wall
and waits for night to fall
Noise he suffers
as he waits
and watches shadows crawl.

From corners first
they spill to floor
and slowly creep along
Colors change
and sounds die down
as silence sings it's song.

A sticky web
that coats the mind
and seems to make all shrink
Silence spreads
and takes control
he moves so fast-- don't blink.

Before they know
or chomprehend
that there is no more light
Darkness breathes
and silence sighs
they merge and form the night.

Kelia

Last poem of the year

2009-01-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

So yes, I wrote this poem at 10:30 PM on December 31st, 2008. I had to. This poem completes my challenge of writing a poem a week, which I completed yay!!!!!!!!!!!! And I hope shows how my poems have grown through the year.

One of my goals this new year was to write 52 poems in the year. Not one a week, but four a month. So that way if I'm very much not inspired one week I'll just write two the next week, which will be much easier. So I'll keep posting on this blog. Another thing I want to do is print out all the readable poems I wrote this year (most of them) and make them into a book! Who knows if that will happen or not...

Happy New Years everyone!!!!! I hope you have a great year!!!!!

A year is whirling
through your head
The wind,
biting,
rustles through the empty trees.
Lift your head to the sky
and smile
as life pounds down around you...

An hour left to go
can you keep all the memories
inside?
Will the wind
whisk them away
and leave you cold,
forlorn,
to face a new year?

Will you put it all behind you--
will you put a smile on your face--
and watch a new year rise?

Kelia

Maybe poem?

2008-12-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

So this morning, with utter shock and horror, I remembered. That I forgot to write a poem last week. O_O O_O O_O I might have come up with something though... I went through all my emails and took things I wrote during the week and made sentences into a poem. I really have no idea if it works or if it even sounds like a poem....?

I woke up this morning and looked outside...
It was snowing.
We only have half an inch now,
that's okay with me.
No shoveling yet!
It's so beautiful.

???
I really don't want to have missed a week though, that would be horrible :(
Kelia

Poem

2008-12-05T08:59:00.000-08:00

Three people: One storm

The sky is crying
The clouds are growling
The wind is howling
The sea is roaring
The rain is pouring
The world is dying.

Rain drops spin and twirl
From sky to earth
Translucent
Shimmering
They catch the light
And throw it
Changed
In to the air
Each drop a dance
Celebrating life.

Tear drops trickle down
The window pane
Your forehead’s leaned
Against the glass
Your room is dark
The sky is black
You watch the rain.
‘It all will pass,’
You tell your self
As tears pound down
And lash and scream
For day to come
For day to come.

Does this poem work? I'm not exactly sure. And also, which do you like better, the version of the poem I posted last, or that poem like this?

Night, has painted it’s wings black
And hidden the moon tonight
Trees, quiver and sway
Back and forth,
Wind, shivers and sweeps
the sky away
The stars are gone
Moonlight is memory
and nothing more
Earth, it splinters and spins away
A sight that empties and fills your brain
Till all you can see is black

Erin read the first version and said it didn't read well, she thought this was much better. What do you think?
Kelia

2008-11-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

Night has painted it’s wings black
And hidden the moon
Tonight
Trees, they quiver and sway back
And forth, the wind it shivers and sweeps
The sky away
The stars are gone
Moonlight
Is memory and nothing more
The earth, it splinters and spins away
A sight
That empties and fills your brain
Till all you can see is black

Is black too boring a name for this? This is an extremely random poem I wrote for my nano.
Kelia

November Ghosts

2008-11-11T08:38:00.000-08:00

November Ghosts

November ghosts
oh what on earth
are they? you say
November ghosts are these
they're spirits of the trees
of leaves that twist and twirl down to the ground
of flowers withered, fallen, hanging dead
November ghosts are winds that howl
through the skies and moan
November ghosts are times when you feel sad
and so alone
they haunt the places you would play
when summer would abound
they're trees that flail against the wind
their arms skeleton bare
they're memories of spring, of crickets
all the summer's sound.
The world is poised
it waits for snow
but in it's stead
November ghosts
they creep in slowly
stealing warmth
stealing color.
They're people huddled inside their houses
their blankets curled around them
November ghosts
they steal the heart of the world.

This end has problems. Should I just end with Sound? I can't figure out how to fix the end....
Kelia

Yes, I am updating

2008-10-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

:D And I have still been writing poems! I don't know why I haven't posted any of them. Anyways NaNoWriMo is right around the corner, and I'm very very excited. Last week I wrote a poem for one of my characters in my yet to be written novel, this is it. (You might not get all of it, but just know that it's about a character who is a ghost.)

Lilith's Song
Breathe in
don't die
the world will end
before your eyes
breathe in
don't cry
the world will end
the world will rise...

The moon will burn
the sun will fall
a sea of black
black flame
you watched him die
you watched him burn
don't be surprised
you're not the same

You try to save them all
you can't
you can't do everything
you can't
stay here and right this wrong
you can't
watch silent as they fall
you can't give up, you've fought so long...

Breathe in
don't die
the world will end
before your eyes
breathe in
don't cry
the world will end
the world will rise...

Kelia

Poem

2008-09-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

The Flood

The night is dark
so dark outside
my heart is bursting with song
I see the world
in my minds eye
the world is waiting.
So long, old life,
the world is waiting so long.

The wind is fierce
so fierce, it moans
my heart is burning with pain
I see the world
in my minds eye
the world is covered.
So long, old life,
the world is covered in rain.

The beach is smooth
so smooth it shines
my heart is peaceful and still
I see the world
in my minds eye
the world is empty.
So long, old life,
the world is waiting to fill.

Kelia

Poems Galore!!!!

2008-09-08T14:59:00.000-07:00

So like I said in my last post, this book of poetry I've been reading has been inspiring me to write poems. I had no idea how true that was until Friday night when I wrote four!!!! So in all, this week I've written eight poems. Yay!!!! This is seven of them, I already posted the Lady of the Lake one.
The first is very random and came out of nowhere.

When he went away
she stood there at the stairs
watching his graying hair
fade away
until the memory was gone,
too.

The Quilt
The quilt swirled off her lap
and billowed onto the floor
the room was full of roses and ferns--
a peice of summer that never died
and guarded against the bitter cold.

Heaven
If I could write poems
all the day long
with an occasional break
to sing a silly song

and a piano right there
to plunk out a tune
and a great big backyard
to look at the moon

With family nearby
and friends all around
and a place to escape
all the joyous sound

Why, I wouldn't need money
or sleep, or even bread
for I'd ben in heaven
and already dead!

My Love
Where is my love?
Where is he now?
Is he on land or sea or air?
Who is my love?
I know him not
know not if he is dark or fair.
I know only
that through my life
on edges, hovering, he's there
He's like a star
shining for me
and when we meet, I'll join him there.

I might as well write
another poem tonight
four will be a record
for one day -
but what to say?
My mind is full of poetry
flowing in and out like a stream
like a half-remembered dream
the words fall- they flow-
they don't know where to go
they tumble, they grumble
like and unseen bird
nothing's ever been hear-
it's too absurd-
maybe I shouldn't
finish this poem tonight.

But I'll never have
this moment again
my soul is drenched in words
overflowing with thoughts,
ideas, that only I can write
I don't know what to say
only
the day will soon be over
the sky is dark and my
eyes are heavy
and I wish this night
could last forever.

I can't sort anything out
I have no idea what this poems about.
Do you know?
Didn't think so.

What should I do about this poem? Halfway through it switches styles. O_O Anna said I should change it so it's all one style or the other-- but that would ruin it. And take ages. Does it work like this?

How Many More Nights
How many more
nights like this will there be?
With this book upon my knee?
I can read it again
and again and again
But then
I'll be so different then
Will it still make the words start
and not stop until my heart
is unburdened, free?
How many more nights
like this will there be?

Love
A love burns in me
deep in my heart
a love for my friends,
my family, my art
A love for afternoon
light in the fall
a love for the sea
and the wind's lonely call.
A love for people
who suffer so long
and can still raise their voice
in life's joyous song
A love for music
that comforts the soul
A love for writing--
but, on the whole,
A love burns in me
that no one can name
So deep-- as I change,
the love stays the same
This love within me
is peace in a storm
a refuge - and slowly
the love takes a form...

A love burns in me
something more than mine
exuberant - free-
this love that will shine
I open my eyes
and see.

And then this last one, should I end it with form or see? I can't decide which I like better.

And there you have it!
Kelia

Poem!

2008-09-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

So Mom was looking through some of Dad's books, and she found some ones of poetry. So I've been reading Classic Poems to Read Aloud, which I love. All the poems are so good! And I've found, when I read poetry it often inspires me to write some. This poem I wrote yesterday I wrote because the Lady of the Lake is a character in the story I'm writing.

The Lady of the Lake

Would you be a lady
with a lake to yourself?
A place to swim
and a place to sing
and a place to take the moon
and put the starlight into jewels

to adorn a sword
made out of ice
and the light of early morning

Would you be a lady
with a life to yourself?
You'll swim forever
oh and you'll sing
the days away

the hills will know the sorrow
of a life full of mystery
you're something more than a lady
made from lake-water-- moonlight--
you will change history

You have no choice.
You'll spend your life
alone...

Kelia

2008-08-24T13:21:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a week ago, but I just got around to posting it now...

God is here
that's him in the trees
can you hear him in the wind?
The sunlight dances
reminding me
that God is here.

Wherever you see beauty
in nature, in music,
in life
God is there.
He's there in the still of night
in the crashing of waves
whenever you need peace
he'll be there for you.

I don't know why I
didn't always see it
so many times
I blinded myself with anger -
self absorbtion -
and I couldn't hear
his peace in my heart.

Listen.

I can hear him in the wind
God is here.

Oooor I could do the ending

I don't know why I
didn't always see it
so many times
I blinded myself with anger -
self absorbtion -
and I couldn't feel
him in my heart.

Listen.

I can hear him in the wind
bringing peace to the world.
God is here.

Which do you like better?
Kelia

Guess

2008-08-04T16:44:00.000-07:00

So I wrote this today... thoughts?

The music thrums
You can feel it’s beat
In the soles of your feet
As you sway with the drums

The music whirls
You can feel it fly
See it reach for the sky
As you dance, as you twirl

The music slows
You can feel the pain
Flowing soft like the rain
But before all’s despair

The music grows
You can feel it build--
Something new, something filled
With wonder is here
As you move to the flow

The music thrums--
The music whirls--
It slows--
It grows--
Disappears.

Kelia

Two New Poems

2008-07-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Here's two new poems, I wrote the first on Monday and the second yesterday.

Singing--
is opening the mouth and letting
everything out
thoughts, feelings,
unexplainable joys
untellable sorrows
you can hear it all in the notes
the relief
to be getting away from life
the bittersweetness of life
as you sing your heart out
you want to shar it with all the world
so you work, and work
and sometimes lose the reason for singing
but it always comes back
on a gray day when you sing out of havit
and find new meanings in the words
more beauty in the song
than you've ever heard before.
And you stop and listen
to the raw delight
the aching loneliness
and you forget about that stubborn note
the difficulty over your break
you forget everything except the need
to give your heart a voice
and you sing
like never before.

Night falls
I stare at the object draped in shadows
thatI've seen so mant times before
inanimate
it speaks of silence and perseverence
its stood as the years have washed over it
jostled from place to place
always persistent in it's silence,
in it's peace.
As the world whirls around--
comings and goings
fights and laughter
hugs and tears and anger and joy--
when the world stops spinning
it stands here in the darkness
waiting for me to fall asleep
so it can sing it's song
of silence.

Kelia

I know, I know

2008-07-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

But it's only been three weeks! That is a long time, but it doesn't feel that long for me because I've only written three poems. Oh well.

I just wrote this poem, I like it but somehow I don't think it flows right...?

Dreams are funny things
they fly in and out
full of imressions,
colors,
sounds,
sometimes bringing
story ideas with them
that flourish and blossom
while you're sleeping
filling the night with
anticipation,
potential,
beginnings.
You breath fast when you wake
and stare into the dark--
remembering the dream
that painted your mind
with such possibilities.
Will it shrivel when
the morning light hits it,
or will it strengthen and hold?
The question doesn't
even cross your mind
as there, in the dark,
a world unfurls before you.
This night has brought a gift-
fragile - like and egg--
it will either break or hatch.
For now you hold it close
dreaming
of what's inside.

Aaaaaand a very silly one I wrote last week. I was not in the mood to write a poem.

What I Would Say

If I Kept a Journal

It's 4 aclock
it's raining out
if my handwriting's messy
it's because my eyes are closed
I'm trying to go to sleep
it's not working
but try I will
while the rain patters,
splatters down
and time ticks away
into oblivion.
(That was rather eloquent,
don't you think?)

Kelia

Poem! Finally!

2008-06-16T07:12:00.002-07:00

I have been still writing poems, they just haven't been very good or have been too private too put up here. So finally I wrote one that I like.

The theatre is dark
light spills in
onto empty seats-
the shadows retreat
and quickly cloak the rest
in mystery.
You step between light and dark
and listen to the quiet
a resting quiet
it speaks of long-lost voices
and memories of songs.
Playbills, posters catch your eye
as the darkness softens
tributes to past plays
and actors who have danced
on this stage.
You climb the steps
catch a glimpse of back-stage,
turn away and look out
at read leather seats
that will soon be filled.
You let a note go
hear it ring in the darkness
it fades away and is gone
swallowed up like all the others
you sit back and listen
to the memory of an echo
as the door opens
and light and laughter
washes over the past
and into now.

Kelia

Poem......again

2008-05-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

And here is yet another poem. It started out as a haiku, because it was Monday night and I really needed to write a poem, but it got longer but still in the format so it's kind of a four-verse haiku. Except that there is no such thing!

Life is a whirlwind
of tornadoes and sandstorms
dust flies in my face

and I cannot see.
I try to remember
what the sky looks like

when no clouds fly by
but the memory is wrong.
Friendship comes from clouds

from the rain that drops
on a parched desert waiting
for life to arrive

and grow.

The only thing is that the line 'I try to remember' is only six syllables and not seven. I could change that and do 'I wish I could remember', but then that would imply that I can't remember instead of just trying to...? And I'm thinking of naming it The Desert.

Kelia

Beethoven and Spring

2008-04-18T14:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening and this afternoon I wrote a poem, so that makes three for this week! As you might have guessed, the first is titled Beethoven and the second is about Spring (once again.) I really like both of them so I want to make them better.

Beethoven

What was it like
to sit down and hear the
burning, passionate rage,
the yearning melody
so clear in its longing,
for the first time?

Would it have been like angels
singing down to earth
putting the melody in his ear
already perfect
except for a few minor changes?
Or did he grapple with the sound
discordnated plunks
startling people walking by
while he searched for the right note?

What was it like
to stand up and hear his
work performed for hundreds
already played so many times
in his little room-
did his heart still soar with the cello
and sing with the violin
knowing that the world
was hearing it
for the very first time?

This second one's shorter, I wrote it outside on this lovely afternoon.

Heaven
is Maine in spring
your sleeves rolled up,
tentative,
waiting to see if its real.
The sun is strong
on recovering grass,
soil warm beneath your feet,
everything is beautified
by the way the air moves
against your face
and the sun dances
down through the trees.
A breath of wind-
your hair flies
and you feel beautiful.

Kelia

May day

2008-04-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

Our library always has a big May Day event. This year Mrs. O'hara is getting people from book groups to dress up as fairies, then go around spinkling fairy dust. I found out today that we also have to recite a poem. Instead of reciting one from those little fairy books I decided I might write one. So I wrote this, but is it really fairy-ish enough? It certainly is springish, but not that fairy-ish....?

The sun is setting through the window
April's drawing to a close,
the day is dying with the sunset
but the memory of warmth
keeps me outside until the
sky is dark and air is chill.

A flash of something catches my eye
I turn to look and wonder,
was that a bug or something different
something full of mystery?

That flits and lies
throughout the night
and loves the spring and flowers?
Invisible
by morning light
the moon reveals its powers.

And even if I was mistaken
and no fairy has flown by,
I'll still be watching May's first sunrise,
watch spring awaken flowers,
watch the magic of the world
slowly spring to life again.

Kelia

Poem of the week

2008-04-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

EDIT: Its sooooooooooo cool!!!! I sent this poem to the author, Katherine Marsh, and she wrote back!!

Wow. Kelia, that's a beautiful poem and captures the heart of the story perfectly! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. Perhaps you'll write me a poem about the second book in the Night Tourist series when it comes out next year? Hint: it's about love.
All best,
Katherine Marsh

!!!!!!

I havent posted in a while because I've been waiting for my poem of the week. So here it is! I wrote it after reading a book called the Night Tourist, which is about ghosts and is kind of a take off on the Orpheous story. I dont think its very good, but oh well. Its from the veiw of a ghost. Its also maybe the longest poem I've written! Isnt that sad? :D

The Night Tourist

I stream out of a fountain
And shoot up towards the stars
The sky is full of ghosts
Who chatter and laugh
And wish they were alive.

People walk by beneath us
Never once looking up
Only dogs sense our presence
And bark at things not there
Or so the people think.

The night is here before us
We could go to the theatre
Or the play in the park
See all the tourist sights
Or go to the poet club.

But when the sky starts turning
And blue merges into pink
Back to the fountain we go
And sighing descend
To a world of gray shadows.

Not once can we see the sun rise
Not once can we feel its warm rays
They try to tell us we would
Disappear, but still in our hearts
We wonder.

We wish we could laugh
With those firmly on the ground
Having a regular boring life
Where things are always changing.
We wish we could live.

Kelia

What do you think?

2008-03-31T13:14:00.000-07:00

Today I wrote this poem. And I really dont know what to think about it.

First version:

The music plays
a casual background song
that I've heard many times before.
But when I stop reading or talking
stop to think
the music wraps me in its spell
and my mind is free to wander.
Cliche's dont seem so bad,
tragedies seem romantic,
and all is wonderful in this world of mine.
My words dance
as they start to flow across the page
my heart soaring as the music sings.
And then
the music starts to fade
I grasp at the last notes
but already the air seems stale
my words harsh
and the real worlds glares at me
in muted colors.
All is silent and I feel like crumpeling the page
for with the glory of the music
has flown my inspiration.
Then the next song starts...

So then I tried to re-write it, turning up with a very strange very different second draft. The beginning of it each verse kind of does its own thing, but to somewhat of a pattern. Then the end is pretty much like the first end. But which do you like better?

Music plays,
in the background,
it distracts
me from my book,
draws me in,
the notes bind me,
and I am
under its spell.

My heart soars with the crecendo
my pen flies across the page,
words alive they dance to music
music full of joy and rage.

I feel like singing
I feel like shouting
I feel like writing
it all down,
all the soppy lines
all the crazy lines
and the ones that
do not rhyme - at all.

And then
the music starts to fade
I grasp at the last
dwindling notes
but already the air seems stale,
my words harsh,
and the real world glares at me
in muted colors.
It feels like my heart
will never sing again.
And then the next song starts...

??
Kelia

Experimenting Poem

2008-03-22T12:35:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about pattern and rhythym in poetry and all that stuff. So this afternoon I wrote this poem. I'd like to know, can you see the pattern? Does it really have a pattern? It's free verse.

March

The trees quiver with unseen wind
Their arms flailing against the blue, blue sky
A blue thats icy paleness
Startles me awake
Every time I look outside.

The sun prepares for spring
The wind ravaging against the change
Clinging tight to winters hold
On this cold
Unchanging world.

This was my original second verse:

The sun is getting stronger
As it creeps up on spring
But the wind ravages against the change
And clings tight
To winters hold on the world.

Kelia

Poem

2008-03-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

Here is the poem I wrote the day before my birthday. I was doing it for the number of syllables in a line.

Ages

Old years
young years
every year in between
children
play away
the days of their youth,
Gray heads
light heads
every shade in between
pre-teens
caught between
fantasies and facts.
Wise eyes
wide eyes
try to look in between
years that
seperate
flying from a crash,
Soft words
loud words
every noise in between
moods change
and you find
that this year's the next.

Kelia

2008-03-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

Here is another poem I wrote recently, I'm not going to go in order anymore I'll just do what I feel like. So I really like this poem but if there's any way I could make it better...?

The piano sits across the room
its cover closed so as to think its sleeping.
But I can still hear an echo of the song
feel the smooth keys beneath my fingures
and that quiet peace is still there.
A peace like the sunset
or rain on a summers eve,
a peace like the sea and the
clear, blue sky.
Its like trying to catch mist
or holding light in your hands,
describing peace.
Its one of the few things that poetry
cannot put into words.
And so we come back to music
time and time again
songs that make us feel wonderful
and in the depths of despair.
But always the peace is there.
The piano is still closed - apparently sleeping.
but all around it - I can see it clearly now -
are not the echoes of songs, but joy.

Kelia

An introduction of sorts

2008-03-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hello all people who will be reading this! This is a blog for my poems. At the new year I challenged myself to write one a week, which so far I have kept. But I'd like people to read them and give me advice, because I really dont know if they're good or not. So thanks!

The title of the blog is very random, I just did the first thing that popped into my head. But it is related, when I was little I wanted to write a book of poems and have it be called To Live in a Rainbow. No idea why! But here it is on my blog now.

So here is the first poem I wrote in the new year. It was kind of based on a memory, all advice is appreciated.

Afternoon light streamed down through the trees
and rested lightly on me, perched on a rail,
surveying the yard like a new vantage point
made me a queen.

But the light made me look up--
Golden light that shone in beams among the green leaves
light that turned the whole world into a place
of magic and well being.

The crunch of my apple was the only sound
but no, there was more. The wind in the trees,
the chirping of birds filled the place with the
unmistakable sound of joy.

If I had been hurrying to the car or quickly
or doing some chore or other, I would have missed it.
Missed this moment, in a war torn world, of peace.
And if I would let my heart reflect that peace
that came with the light, I would have peace too.

Thank you!
Kelia