Yesterday evening and this afternoon I wrote a poem, so that makes three for this week! As you might have guessed, the first is titled Beethoven and the second is about Spring (once again.) I really like both of them so I want to make them better.
Beethoven
What was it like
to sit down and hear the
burning, passionate rage,
the yearning melody
so clear in its longing,
for the first time?
Would it have been like angels
singing down to earth
putting the melody in his ear
already perfect
except for a few minor changes?
Or did he grapple with the sound
discordnated plunks
startling people walking by
while he searched for the right note?
What was it like
to stand up and hear his
work performed for hundreds
already played so many times
in his little room-
did his heart still soar with the cello
and sing with the violin
knowing that the world
was hearing it
for the very first time?
This second one's shorter, I wrote it outside on this lovely afternoon.
Heaven
is Maine in spring
your sleeves rolled up,
tentative,
waiting to see if its real.
The sun is strong
on recovering grass,
soil warm beneath your feet,
everything is beautified
by the way the air moves
against your face
and the sun dances
down through the trees.
A breath of wind-
your hair flies
and you feel beautiful.
Kelia
2 comments:
Your poems are getting steadily better with the practice! Both of these are excellent. You need a stronger last line (or maybe two to catch the meaning) on the first one. It is really excellent thought, well expressed. You need a finish with punch to match the rest of the poem. The second is full of the feeling of spring. I like it.
Thanks so much! I'm trying to think of a different last line...but not succeeding...
Post a Comment