Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Poem

A few minutes ago I wrote a poem. It's the first in a while, I've mostly been writing songs lately. I can tell I haven't been writing them, also I think my writing style is being influenced a little bit by Les Miserables which I'm reading right now, but I don't know if anyone else will notice.

The sun slips away
and shadows fill the room
the doll on the windowsill
is frozen in perpetual song.

A silence steals in
so deep that thoughts are sluggish
in it's presence.

It is an absence of light
of noise-- of movement--
my thoughts are suspended in place.
Everything seems frozen.


Kelia

4 comments:

Steve Ingraham said...

If it were me, I would lose everything after the first stanza. That is soooo strong. It stands alone and is a whole poem.

KrazyK said...

You're right about the first stanza being strongest, I'll definitely think about it. It flows better than the rest does.

tuulenhaiven said...

I agree with Dad, but if you choose to keep it longer, I definitely think the middle stanza doesn't need the last line.

It's fun to write short poems - you should look into haiku and see if you can write some. It's a good workout for the brain!

What songs have you been writing? Just music, or songs with lyrics?

KrazyK said...

I've written two haiku's, they are fun! I've been writing songs with lyrics. They're so much harder than just piano songs or poems!

I think I will just make it the first stanza.