Thursday, June 18, 2009


Here are three poems I wrote, the middle one I wrote on the way to Acadia. (The first one is the one I wanted you to read, Dad.)

Night fills my eyelids
the clock emits a steady drumbeat
my thoughts march in circles
they shimmer in rainbow colors
brilliant in their fragility
little worlds; so safe
for the moment
little ideas shimmer
a breath of wind
send them sailing, soaring
a well placed breath
and they're gone,

The clouds today
are lumpy and gray
some look like they're held
by the tips of the trees
some are parted
and brightness spills through-
not light,
but the absence of gloom.

The sun is dreaming of sleep.
It's always shining
always moving
Round and round,
around it goes
a world that never sleeps.

For this last one, do you like 'It's always shining' or 'It's always beaming' better? Also I could have the end
Round and round,
it goes around
a world that never sleeps.
It makes more sense that way, but I like how it sounds the other way better.



Steve Ingraham said...

I like the first two. As usual, the one you are having trouble with is the weakest poem...I think shining is better than beaming (too cute), and I like the way it is, not the alternative. However, there is not much too it. Both the others have a lot more to say.

KrazyK said...

The third one I felt like had more to it too, but I couldn't think of anything. I'll probably just leave it as it is.